The French Mistake (Allons-y!)
by Dantea Dredkin
Summary: 100 words a chapter challenge. While the Winchesters were off in another universe in 'The French Mistake' with a decoy of the key to the weapons of Heaven, what was Crowley doing while the weapons were up for grabs? Chilin with the (maybe) real key and the Doctor, of course. Crowley replaces Canton fic. See "The Impossible Astronaut" and "The French Mistake" for reference.
1. The Key to the Universe

**This is my first 100 word a chapter fic, but I think it turned out pretty good. Of course, time travel stories are always difficult, so feel free to give me any ideas or a heads up if I accidentally make a paradox that doesn't make sense without noticing.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"You're messing up my wall, and I just got it all pretty and blood splattered." Crowley pouted, wiping the gore off the knife he held on his apron.

Castiel dipped his fingers in the bronze chalice he held, and continued painting symbols on the wall without taking his intense gaze off his work.

"Raphael is coming." He stated.

Crowley paused.

"I'm going to send you somewhere safe, where you can't be reached, along with the key."

"Ah." Crowley said. And then, "What key?"

Castiel glanced at him. "They key to the weapons of Heaven."

"Ah. That key."

* * *

**What do you think?**

**Read and Review.  
**


	2. Deviance

**Chapter two. Here we go.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"Call me crazy, but something tells me your not just going to hand over the keys to heaven to the king of hell." Crowley said.

"No." Castiel said, holding out a keyring to the demon. "But I might, if I was desperate enough."

Crowley's eyes narrowed.

"Or I might give it to the Winchesters, and send them off to another universe. Or to Bobby singer, and drop him in medieval Europe. Or I could keep it myself."

Crowley's eyebrows shot up. "That's actually a decent plan. I'm proud of you Castiel, my deviance is rubbing off."

* * *

**Mwahaha. Clever Cas.**

**Read and Review.  
**


	3. Old Budddy Old Pal

**Chapter six. Woo.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"The thing is Castiel, old buddy old pal. . . ."

Crowley pulled out a handkerchief and used it to remove the key from Castiel's grasp, tucking it into his breast pocket. "How did good old Ralphy find my super secret, angel proof, monster torturing base in the first place, hmm?" He raised an eyebrow.

Castiel's head tilted to the side. "Well. . . . it's really very simple." The angel paused.

Crowley gestured him to continue as he pulled the bloody apron over his head and placed it on a tray of sharp looking instruments.

Cas cleared his throat.

"He followed me."

* * *

**Liked it? Hated it?**

**Read and Review.  
**


	4. He's Here

**Here ya go.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"I don't know who you think you're playing with." Crowley said, deliberately picking up a glinting scalpel for examination before glancing up at the angel. "But I am NOT. AMUSED."

As if to answer his fury, the walls started to shake, and the lights flickered and blew out.

Castiel's blue eyes snapped heavenward. "He has come." He looked at Crowley. "You have to go. Now."

He snapped his palm and suddenly air was warping around him as he struggled against the angel's power.

"Castiel." He gritted out warningly between his teeth.

And then he went flying.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	5. Something In The Air

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Crowley hit concrete with a thud, and then there was exploding dust; rock, electrifying magical tingle as the wall gave way behind him and he was laying on concrete.

_"Canton? Canton?! Are you ok?"_

Crowley took stock of his situation. The back of his skull had been shattered, so he took care of that first.

_". . . .is he alright?"_

Judging by the annoying prodding he was getting, and the inital references to 'Canton' he was with people who thought they knew him. Possibly a pocket dimension had been conjured up.

But there was just something about the magic in the air. . . .

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	6. A Shot Was Fired

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The man that had been prodding him was now in the middle of some little drama about a pregnant woman and-an astronaut? It sounded like the opening to a bad joke, but. . . .not the most unusual conversation he's ever heard. But still. Up there.

_"Help me!" _A little girl screamed.

Now lets see. . . .

_"What are you doing?!" _The man again, shouting panicked.

Ah. His fingers still work. They just gave a wiggle there when he told them to. That was a bonus.

_"Saving your life!" _That woman.

Crowley's eyes twitched, opened black.

_"No!"_

A shot was fired.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	7. Doctor's Point of View

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"I'm pregnant."

The world stopped. Amy was pregnant. Amy was pregnant and an astronaut was going to eat a little girl.

It stepped into the room, silent and threatening.

"That's the astronaut." Amy said, stunned. And then she was going for Canton's gun on the ground, and a gloved hand reached up to raise the visor on it's helmet, and-

"Help me!"

No.

"What are you doing?!" The doctor shouted frantically.

NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo!

"Saving your life!" Amy yelled, swinging the gun around. Her eyes widened.

A shot was fired.

And then Canton stabbed him in the leg.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	8. Thank God

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The Doctor shreiked, from surprise more than anything. He hadn't even noticed Canton was holding a knife, much less expected him_ stab him with it_.

In the_ bloody leg_.

It took point five seconds for the Doctor to spin around, clutching his now blood-soaked leg, to look where Canton had been lying comatose moments before.

_Had been_ being the operative word.

Canton-Had it really been Canton? Or something else?-had dissappeared.

He spun and found Amy frozen in shock, the little girl sobbing in her spacesuit, helmet cracked from where the bullet had hit, unharmed.

_Thank God._

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	9. Where Did the Astronaut Go?

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The Doctor swore, glancing down at his leg. Amy shook herself of her horror and glanced back at the Doctor. Did a double take. Looked again.

A surgical knife was sunk deep into the Doctor's thigh up to the hilt. He stood favoring his other leg, both hands grasped tightly around his thigh above the wound to stop blood flow.

"What-?"

"Canton." The Doctor said grimly.

"But why?" Amy asked.

"I don't know." He replied. "Something's wrong. He's not himself."

"Where'd he go?"

"I think a better question would be where did the astronaut go?"

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	10. How Did We Get Here, Again?

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"We need to find them." The Doctor grunted as Amy came to his side, using her belt to tie off his wound.

"First," She said, supporting him as they limped out the doorway, "We need to get you back to the T.A.R.D.I.S."

"Of course." The Doctor said, breathing hard. His wound was bleeding more, worsened by limping down the stairs. "One thing though-"

Amy leaned him up against a concrete bracer, in what looked an empty store room. They were both panting heavily.

"How did we get here and why are we out of breath?"

* * *

**You know the episode where The Doctor and Winston Churchill have a conversation but every five minuets there in a different place doing something else because they don't remember the events that happened in between those moments? It's like that.**

**Read and Review.  
**


	11. Ok, What Just Happened?

**Enjoy.**

* * *

_Ok._ Crowley thought to himself. _One more time. I stabbed some guy. _

Check.

_I smoked out of there. I was in the hall outside the room. _

Check.

_I turned to look at the astronaut, and then I turned back and saw. . . ._

What had he seen? It was something important, he was sure. Because the next thing he knew, he was running for some reason, and why would he do that? Not many things could make a demon run, but then the man from earlier was limping and pulling a woman out of a maintenance hatch in the ground and-

_"River!"_

* * *

**Read and Review.**_  
_


	12. Memory Spots

**Enjoy.**

* * *

-and that was where it got fuzzy again, because now he was standing in an empty store room, watching everybody go mad.

"How did we get here and why are we out of breath?" The Doctor asked. (_How did I know the man was a doctor?)_ A woman with wild hair _(River, his mind supplied)_ and Rory (_Rory?)_ were looking at him and backing away twords The Doctor and the red-haired girl supporting him, who were both looking away from the demon.

And then The Doctor turned, looked at Crowley.

Looked _past_ Crowley.

"Ahh." He said. "Now I remember."

* * *

**Read and Review.**_  
_


	13. Oh Yah

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"What the hell is going on?!" Crowley shouted in frustration, a flash of anger coloring his tone.

"Look behind you." The Doctor said urgently.

He resisted the urge to flash eyes at the man. "There is nothing behind me!"

"Look! Canton, Look!" The Doctor shouted, pointing.

Crowley turned suspiciously, almost hesitantly, and came face to face with. . . .

"Ah. Now I remember." Eying the monster standing before him, Crowley called behind him. "Anybody got a pen?"

"What?! We have to go _now_!"

Crowley sighed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He'd have to do it the hard way then.

* * *

**Read and Review.**_  
_


	14. Forgetfulness

**Enjoy.**

* * *

_Ok._ Crowley thought to himself. _One more time. I stabbed some guy. _

Check.

_I smoked out of there. I was in the hall outside the room. _

Check.

_I turned to look at the astronaut, and then. . . ._

"I think it's forgotten again." A woman said. (_River, his mind supplied)_

And now, he was-somewhere weird. A...control room? And tied to a chair.

"It seems especially susceptible to their influence, more so than us." The Doctor said. (_How did I know he was a doctor?) _"Probably because it's essence is-."

"Smoke." Crowley coughed. "My essence is made of smoke."

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	15. Who Took the Key?

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The Doctor spun around from where he was addressing the others. "Yes, Crowley, you've said that already."

Crowley scowled and a moment later he blinked across the room, wondering why the hell he let these people tie him to the chair in the first place.

"Well, this has been whole buckets of joy," He said, adjusting one of his cufflinks while everyone spun around to look at him. "But I was recently dumped in..." He glanced around. "-_this place. _So I have just one question."

Blink, and he was behind...River, pulling her against him.

"Who took the key?"

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	16. Why Did I?

**Enjoy.**

* * *

River immediately fought him, attempting a move that likely would have completely decimated any human.

But Crowley was not human.

He wrapped his hand around her throat and squeezed gently. She choked.

There was a reason he hadn't smoked out of there in those periods he couldn't remember, he just had to figure out what it was. Why had he decided to follow these people instead of obliterating whatever threatened him and left?  
Possibly because they somehow got the key, or he had decided they could help him get it from whoever did.

He just didn't know.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	17. Like a Magnet

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"Alright, alright. Let's just take a second here." The doctor said, holding his hands out in front of him and gesturing for Amy and Rory to stop. "I think we can discuss this like reasonable human beings."

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Oh dear god. Your a humanitarian, aren't you?" With a thought, the Ponds were pinned to the ceilings and walls, and the Doctor flew after them, surprise on his face.

"I'll ask again." Crowley said, tossing a limp River into a wall with a sickening thud, where she stuck like a magnet. "Where's the key?"

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	18. Absolutley Fascinating

**Enjoy.**

* * *

This was bad.

This thing that looked like Canton but obviously wasn't, it was hostile, alien, and felt threatened. After the_ incident_ in the lab (which he vaguely recalled), it had introduced itself as Crowley, and then promptly forgot it had done so. The Doctor had told it where they running to, and then Crowley had teleported them there somehow, past all his firewalls and into the TARDIS itself, and then promptly forgot he had done so.

Even he wasn't familiar with this species.

It held them captive with it's mind.

This was bad.

And _absolutely_ _fascinating._

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	19. You cleaver brilliant thing, you!

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"Doctor? How's it doing that?" Amy said, straining. "Doctor? Doctor?!"

"Oh you clever, brilliant, thing you!" The Doctor said, spread eagle on the wall and looking around and smiling at his similarly bound friends. "What is that? A psycho-magnetic gravity field? Oh, now that is impressive! You know, I once met a race of backwards people-not in the mean way, they were literally backwards-who had these chips planted in their brains-which were actually in their feet-and could do the same thing! But they-"

_"Doctor!"_ Amy and Rory shouted in unison.

Crowley raised an eyebrow.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	20. What PLANET!

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"Riiiiiight-" Crowley drawled out. "Well, like I said-"

"Yes, you were dropped in_ 'this place'_, as you claimed. And!" The Doctor said. "And! Your looking for a key. Which reminds me! Computer! Switch to manual voice command and increase gravity-twenty percent!"

Crowley, caught off guard, actually stumbled a moment before righting himself, but it was enough for the increased gravity to jerk them out of his concentration. Amy, Rory, a semi-conscious River, and the Doctor all slammed into the hard, unforgiving floor of the TARDIS with a simultaneous bang.

"Now." The Doctor groaned. "What planet are you from?"

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	21. TARDIS

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"What planet_ am I_ from?" Crowley sneered. "What planet are_ you_ from?"

"Gallifrey." The Doctor answered, staggering to his feet. "Computer, revert to standard gravity settings, please." The Doctor's hair visibly lifted from where it had been plastered to his forehead, and both Amy and Rory began breathing again as they stood, wobbly. Crowley, after the initial surprise, had no problem with increased gravity, and showed no sign of relief when it was reversed.

The Doctor noted all this with a careful eye.

Crowley glanced around, frowning. "What planet _am I_ on?"

The Doctor hesitated. "TARDIS. Your on TARDIS."

* * *

**Hehehe. Tricky Doctor.**

**Read and Review.**


	22. Dumb Ass Planet

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Crowley looked askance at him. "What kind of dumb ass planet is called TARDIS?"

"Oi! Don't make fun of my planet!" The Doctor said indignantly, petting the control panel he was leaning against protectively. "She's a beautiful planet, if I do say so myself. Still runs like the day I-uh...acquired her."

The Demon blinked.

"Riiiiight-" The Doctor drew out. "Well! You were looking for a key? A key to what?"

"None of your damn business. Now do you have it or not?"

"Ehhh...no." The Doctor said. "But we know what does."

Crowley's eyes flashed black.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	23. Ow!

**Enjoy.**

* * *

_Three Months Later_

* * *

"Ow!" Crowley glared, more from the psychic needle pinch the implanting of the device had given him than from actual physical pain. He rubbed his wrist absently.

"So!" The doctor said, spinning around to address the whole room. "Three months! What have we learned?"

"They're everywhere." Rory said, looking in trepidation at the injection gun the Doctor had used on Can-Crowley. It's name was Crowley. Damn! Three months and he still thought him-_it_ as Canton! "In every state in America."

The Doctor grabbed his wrist and shot his palm, earning a wince from the man. "Ow!"

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	24. Double Ow!

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"Not just America, the entire world." The Doctor said, heading over to Amy.

"There's a greater concentration here, though." River said.

The Doctor injected Amy.

"Ow!" She said.

"You OK, darling?" Crowley asked mockingly, smiling slowly, knowingly.

Amy glared back defiantly. Exactly two seconds after announcing he was joining their little group three months earlier, Crowley had begun snooping. She wasn't sure, but she thought he had dug up enough dirt on every single one of them that nobody protested when they found out he was evil hell spawn.

"Turns out I was wrong. I'm not pregnant."

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	25. He knows Things

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The Doctor looked on worryingly between Amy and the demon, disturbed by the creature's lack of tack, seeming not to care about any negative consequences it brought about, and even relishing the chance to be the cause of them.

At Amy's declaration, Crowley's smile grew, eyes bright. He knew things other people didn't, the Doctor was sure. As soon as they had explained what the cause of his memory loss had been, Crowley had decided to join them, and at first, the Doctor relished the chance to study him up close.

He quickly changed his mind.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	26. Secrets

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Rory walked over. "Whats up?" He asked, looking between the three.

Crowley's smile, snake like. Rory shuddered. "Nothing." The demon said, not taking it's eyes off his wife. "Nothing at all."

"So!" Amy said brightly. Too brightly. "You've seen them, but you don't remember them."

"We still don't know what they are." River said.

"It's like they edit themselves out of your memory as soon as you look away." Rory said, glancing around. "The exact second you're not looking at them, you can't remember anything."

Crowley smiled.

River glanced suspiciously at him.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	27. Lipstick

**Enjoy.**

* * *

River really didn't like Crowley.

It wasn't because of when they first met. And it wasn't because when she had tried to use her hallucinogenic lipstick on him and he had trapped her in his arms for ten minuets while he thoroughly licked every last smear of lipstick from the outside (and inside) of her mouth, and then proceeded to smack his lips in a satisfied manner.

"Darling," He had said, "Your only bringing free drugs to the party."

But no, it wasn't any of that.

She didn't like him because the Doctor didn't.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	28. Soul

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Crowley had no soul.

At first, he had studied the demon. Mapping his abilities (teleportation and telekinesis), noting his weaknesses (holy water), and generally watching him. It.

The problem was, it watched him right back.

The Doctor was sure he had deduced as much from the demon as it had from him. Luckily, (or unluckily) that didn't seem to be much. He was sure he didn't know half the things Crowley was capable of, and he thought now he might like to keep it that way.

Crowley had no soul.

But the Doctor thought he might have, once.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	29. Attention

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"Sometimes you feel a bit sick, though. But not always." Amy said. She glanced around, noticing everyone brooding on their thoughts, and sighed. She knew.

River thought Crowley paid attention to her, but Rory thought he was interested in Amelia, when really that was only when the three of them were together and the demon smirked at her, letting her know it knew.

She was glad _that_ was over.

Right?

But she knew Crowley liked to look at the Doctor.

The Doctor himself was busy worrying about Crowley paying attention to his friends, when he wasn't really at all.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	30. The Doctor's Soul

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Everything was perfect.

Well actually, he could have the key, the weapons, Purgatory, the Doctor's soul, and a ticket back to his dimension, but he thought he was doing well, considering.

Everyone thought they knew everything, and some of them actually did. But everyone knows everyone who know everything always doubt they know anything, and that was when he struck.

The Doctor's soul though-

It glowed softly golden; whispering things Crowley missed. It hardly even constituted as a human soul, but under all the warm, glowing 'time lord stuff', it was just like other people's.

Only more.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	31. Question, Please

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"So that's why you marked your skin?" Crowley asked them. He remembered the tally marks on their skin when "Canton" had been pretending to hunt down the Doctor's friends.

"Only way we'd know if we'd had an encounter." Amy replied.

"How long have they been here?" Crowley asked. If it was as long as demons had been on _his_ earth, these people would have a _hell_ of a task ahead of them.

"That's what we've spent three months trying to find out."

"Not easy," Rory said, "-if you can't remember anything you discover."

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	32. Corner of Your Eye

**Enjoy.**

* * *

A smirk lifted the corner of the demon's lips. The Doctor noted interestedly.

"But how long do you think?" Crowley asked. He thought the demon had some ulterior motive to helping them, other than the given reason that he "wanted his bloody key back".

_Well of course. _The Doctor thought._ He **is** a demon.  
_

"As long as there's been something in the corner of your eye," He said, spinning around and pacing away, head down, and then turning and pacing back to them. "-or creaking in your house, or breathing under your bed, or voices through a wall."

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	33. Mind Thing

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"They've been running your lives for a very long time now," The Doctor said. "-so keep this straight in your head. We are not fighting an alien invasion, we're leading a revolution. And today the battle begins."

"How?" Crowley asked.

"Like this." The Doctor reaches back and injects River with his little futuristic gun. "Ow." She complained, rubbing her palm.

"Ha-ha! Nano recorder. Fuses with the cartilage in your hand. Ow!" The Doctor injected himself and shook his hand. "It'll pick up your voice, no matter what. Telepathic connection."

Crowley translated that as 'psychic mind thing'.

* * *

**Read and Review.**


	34. The First You'll Know

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"The moment you see one of the creatures," The Doctor said, "-you activate it." Crowley watched with interest as the Doctor pressed in on his palm, activating a steady, red, LED glow. "-And describe aloud exactly what you're seeing."

_"-And describe aloud exactly what your seeing." _The device echoed back at them.

"Because the moment you break contact," He continued slowly, "-you're going to forget it happened. The light will flash if you've left yourself a message. You keep checking your hand. If you've had an encounter that's the first you'll know about it."

* * *

**Read and Review.**


End file.
